Kembali lagi, ga salah lah nanya "kapan nikah?" tapi again, ga usah lah harus ngomong "cepat-cepatlah.." ato "ngapain lama-lama?" lah orang juga pasti punya pertimbangan pribadi kan kenapa sampai belum atau kenapa sampai sudah.. dan ga semuanya bisa dijabarkan ke khalayak ramai. Ukuran "kecepetan", "pas", dan "telat nikah" itu apa sih? umur? biologis? ketiga hal itu diukur dari umur berapa jadinya kalo gitu? apakabar orang-orang luar/bule misalnya?!
Gue jadi ngeliat itu juga dari issue culture, dan gimana berkembang/tidaknya suatu tempat/negara.
Kita senang kalau teman kita mau menikah.. tapi alangkah lebih menyenangkan jika teman/sesama kita itu happy dan comfortable dengan yang dijalani.. kalo ternyata dia single tapi dia senang, artinya dengan dia belum menikah itu bukan jadi suatu masalah buat dia, apa kita ga harus happy juga buat dia?
Apakah orang yang belum menikah, yang sudah menikah tapi belum punya anak, itu artinya sesuatu yang memprihatinkan? Oh c'mon.. pernikahan itu bukan end of story ato happy ending dari sebuah buku atau sinetron dan dongeng... Ga ada yang sempurna.. being single or married..
What I'm trying to say, jangan ciptakan paradigma bahwa "orang single harus menikah", "being single is pathetic, pitiful, uncomfortable", "menikahlah cepat-cepat karena itu adalah sebuah happy ending". Won't you feel guilty when someone marries a wrong person "cuma" karena pertanyaan "KAPAN DONG?", "ayo cepet-cepet nikah.. nikah itu enak lho.." etc, atau menikah dengan keputusan yang tidak matang?
Menikah, begitu juga dengan punya anak, tanpa direncanakan dengan baik will be (mostly) a disaster.
(Should I elaborate this too?)
Oke, gue itu orang yang penuh dengan kekurangan, on the other word, I'm not perfect, too, and so are you.
Menikah itu (salah satunya) belajar menerima kekurangan-kelebihan pasangan. I'm having a hard time with this too: adjustments, and how to deal with "expectations".
Getting married also requires you to think and act on:
"Am I marrying the right one?"
"Who will provide the fund for the wedding? do we have enough money for that? what about after the wedding?"
"Should I continue working? what? leaving my career? my salary? I use to buy dresses and shoes and now I need to save for washing machine, bed, sofa, table, chair, cutlery? Oh my.. land and house?" :)
"Should I work after I get married? should I have a maid or just prepare meals by myself?"
Those are just some so-simple thing if you read, but when you act, specially getting married isn't only comes from how you want it to be. Can you give some more examples on how a unprepared marriage will turn out? well, I'm not gonna tell you to grab an EGW book by now, just try to think.. some simple thing are just not as simple as that.
Health and debt (before marriage) that carries trough also can be a source of a fight. You might not fight with your spouse for that, but your family might.
Getting married also means you have to deal with your spouse's family. Are you mature enough to face different type of persons with their own opinion and expectations? :)
About having kids,
some people say a child is a blessing from God.. indeed.. what about the 7th kid? hmm.. speaking of how will you raise him/her, the money you need to have in case he/she gets sick, his/her school fees, etc..
If you plan for it and you really want it, you should have been prepared I suppose, but by "accident"? hmm.. pity the baby.
Bottom line, BE HAPPY FOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE HAPPY WITH ANY STATUS THEY HAVE.
Anyways, don't forget to read the "READ ME" section ;D.
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