As I look outside from my back door, "where will I spend the rest of my life?" as I see these buildings, poluted sky of Jakarta. I see no stars tonight. I wonder if I've ever seen any from here, I don't remember.
Memories at Tebet came into my mind. I kinda feel the same feeling as the first time I decided to move here. A feeling of "so this is Jakarta", and something is tickling inside the heart.
It's still a busy night for some people, I can hear noises around, but I'm feeling this lonely and silent night..
This is how it feels being away from family.
My choice, my responsibility.
I don't think I can't really decide where will I be spending the rest of my life, since when one person decided to say a lifetime vow, specially for a woman, will be moving to the man's place. I know that it's not applicable for all situations though. Or lets say the woman go to where her man goes.
Tell me if you disagree.
I'm having this bad headache, I guess for sleeping late last night and didn't move my body that much as usual today.
Plus, a bothering thing on my mind.
I won't talk about it.
That's the reason why I am sitting down here, behind my room. I'm suppose to be taking fresh air for my head that aches...
Sometimes I feel like I'm too worry about my future. We'll I probably take it too serious, I don't know. I'm just trying to "prevent" any mess or any disappointment. Am I taking over God's part? But speaking of "power of choice", I am still the one who choose out of the options of life.
Tomorrow is monday, another beginning of a work days within a week. I didn't have a mood-booster sunday. I stayed home, playing cellphone games, watched at d'Wungkana's room, I didn't do much things today. Lazy me, huh?!
And so as I'm writing this line, I'm not feeling well right now.. Hopefully I won't get sick since I got to go to the office tomorrow.
Guess what, these days I miss Manado like never before.
>10.55PM Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sent from Tom the iPhone
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